Exhaustion

This semester, I'm taking alternative processes, advanced surface design, metals and jewelry I, media writing, and general psychology I for a total of 15 hours. That's three studios people (the classes where I actually learn techniques and make art)!

Most semesters, I'd only be taking 12 hours, but since I added my journalism minor, I need to take an extra 18 hours of journalism classes, which means adding on to my already hectic schedule. It's only the third week of school, and I'm exhausted. I normally sleep a lot because I'm just not a high-energy person, but lately I've been skipping the naps and flat out passing out when I go to bed around midnight then waking up at 6 am to start all over.

I happened to be talking about my tiredness at church, I don't remember if I was necessarily complaining or not, and one of the other college students was all, "Don't complain! I'm taking 15 hours, and I have a job, and I go to church, blah blah blah...." I hate it when people do that.

Sure, I may have been complaining, but why jump in and reprimand me by listing your problems? If I listed out everything that I do including my classes, I'm involved. Let's not forget that I attend the exact same church. I also attend a different church occasionally. I started attending a different Bible study than the first two with another one of my friends, and I joined their choir. I've been going to a yoga class. I have Fibers Club, and I'm joining the National Association of Black Journalists. I don't have a job, but that's because I spend what precious free time I have divided between working for the studios and going to movies. Seriously, I spent three hours of our first Saturday after classes started in the metals lab. I spent another 5 in the fibers lab on Friday dyeing my shibori pieces. I'm throwing a baby shower. I'm making my sister's Band Banquet dress. I'm not lazy, I work hard, and I have every right to be tired.

I know everyone took art in grade school, and it seems all easy, but really it's work. Not only do I have to create something that didn't exist before I made it, I have to have a concept for it. My first project for alternative processes is to make a three dimensional sculpture out of nothing but 1 yard of white fabric, a needle, and white thread. Isn't that just insane?

I just really hate it when people try to put me down for what I do or make what they do seem more important. Like what I'm feeling is just nothing compared to how tragic their life is, like it's a competition, like somehow they're more successful because they have more things to be exhausted about so they can belittle and look down on me. I guess the real point is, I may complain and whine, but I love what I do, and I work just as hard for what I want. Maybe I need to blow off steam every once in awhile, but I wouldn't trade my life for anything, even if it means I would win the "My Life is Stressful and More Exhausting Than Yours" award (And for the record, I was taking 15 hours last semester and working, and I had a part-time job over the winter break, and I applied for several jobs after my temporary one, I just haven't heard from anyone and I'm not really trying anymore because of said exhaustion, although I wouldn't turn anything down).

And I'm going to try harder this year to post pictures of my work because I'm slowly getting to the point where I can make what I want and not worry about just getting a good grade.

My life.