Sex Education

Today, Tyra actually had a show that made me think. And about something other than Tyra, imagine that!

I know, I was just as surprised.

It was about when you should start educating your children about sex. As in, what age. Anyway, this one guest was driving her 5 year old daughter home after a sleepover at some other 5 year old's house, and her daughter told her that what's-her-face asked her to "kiss her cat." Naturally, the mom was super confused.
"Well, what did you tell her?"
"I said no, then she pulled up her pants and panties."

And now I have made the executive decision to never have children. I can't protect them child molesters, fires, Megan Fox, tornadoes, kidnappers, earthquakes, Disney, hurricanes, Google, volcanoes, thieves, tsunamis, wild animals, and their sex crazed peers. Too much. Too too much. Can't do it.

Thinking back, my mom never really really explained what sex was. I had an advanced reading level, and I blossomed early, so she gave me a book about periods and "becoming a woman." Well, I totally got the whole menstruation part, I just didn't get why. So I broke out the encyclopedia.

Sidenote: It's a super horrible idea to learn about sex from an encyclopedia. Especially if you're 9.

I think that might be the major contributer to my prudish nature. I spent the past 10 years being completely afraid of sex. I'm a little more open to it now (That's what she said.) but I don't like watching movies with awkward sex scenes, I don't like random guys checking me out or asking for my phone number, I don't like sexual innuendos (despite my love of 'That's what she said' jokes. Maybe not the sexual innuendos so much.) I don't like it when people are naked and whenever anyone tries to talk to me about sex, I start feeling uncomfortable and stabby, in that order. At any rate, I am less freaked out by sex since I want children and the other methods for getting children involve money and/or showing strangers my vagina. (Or was and wanted, since Tyra convinced me having kids is a bad idea.)

Hmm, I'm not sure where I was going with this so I'll just make this statement and be off: Kids today are freaks.

Pizza!

I've been trying to learn how to cook since I no longer have a meal plan, and I'll need to feed myself at my apartment. I've made lasagna, chicken tetrazini, putanesca, and pizza. The pizza is my favorite so far, but mostly because I loved making pizza dough.

Because I fail at reading and following instructions, I left out the whole wheat flour. I thought the first batch of dough would turn out funny. I just added most of the whole wheat flour while I was kneading the dough.

It looked exactly like the second batch though, so I guess they were both okay.

Dough after I punched it down. That's what the recipe said, "Punch down dough;" :)

This is pepperoni! The recipe said to put the pepperoni down first and put cheese on top, so it doesn't look like it. And since it's pepperoni and I'm kosher, I didn't taste it, but my sister said it tasted like Hot Pockets. I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.

And because I could make any pizza I wanted, the second one is chicken and pineapple! I loved the pizza crust, but next time, smaller chicken pieces and more pineapple. I thought I'd get the whole chicken and pineapple pizza to myself because everyone else seemed put off by the pineapple bit, but it turns out, my dad's not that picky.

And Anthony, Angela might not be crazy. The recipe also included one for homemade pizza sauce, and it called for 2 tablespoons of mustard. The more you know!

Anyway, my mom says no more pasta/casseroles, so I need to work on this week's menu.

Mommy Dearest

I've decided that I could just write a book on the millions of ways my mother frustrates me. I think that might even be a genre because all of the "chic lit" books I've read are about frustrated mothers, frustrated wives, frustrated daughters, or a combination of the three. Since I'm unmarried with no children and living at home, the frustrated daughter definitely applies.

My current gripe: My mother refuses to buy me anything. Anything. Now I know better than to walk up to her and straight up ask for money or something like that, but when I ask for food or toiletries or basic things that most parents provide for their children that live at home, she tells me to get a job (And I am trying to get a job. I've been to Walmart four times and I've called twice because I refuse to go back to McDonalds.)

She keeps telling me that I'm in a "transition" period between adulthood and childhood, which really means that I can't do anything or get anything, apparently. It's like she expects me to be fully independent, living in my own apartment with my own job. Which I guess makes sense in her world since her mother basically kicked her out when she was 18. Her mother told her it was time for her to move out, helped her find an apartment, and helped her move out. But her mother also had 3 other children, all of which ended up being teen mothers. But really? I'm 19, a junior in college, and I have trouble working and going to school at the same time, so I've only had summer jobs working with fast food.

I don't know. I just feel like I'm disappointing her in so many ways. She played basketball and volleyball, and I don't get the point of running if I'm not being chased. I'm majoring in fibers, and I have no clue what to do with my life, and she tells me to get a job where I can make money (Obviously money isn't important to me, Mother. I'd much prefer to have my sanity which is why I'm not at McDonald's right now.) She laughs and/or calls me a Jew when I talk about Heritage, regardless of the fact that you can't believe in Jesus and be a Jew. She doesn't like white people, and I'm dating a white boy. She calls me fat all the time (Well, actually she tells me I need to exercise for "my health," points out how many calories things are when she sees me eating them, and lately she's taken to reminding me that Anthony is half my size when she sees me eating, but she might as well just call me fat.)

Maybe I am too sensitve. She always says that when I confront her about her being kind of bitchy. She says I can't take a joke, that I take things too literally, and that she's going to stop talking to me (which is also frustrating. If you know that I'm over emotional, why would you keep making fun of me?) But I would just like to not feel scrutinized and judged. And I want her to know that being a transitional adult sucks worse than being a kid because at least then someone would feed me without complaining.

Mostly, I just want someone to buy me razors and lotion because I only have $83 in my bank account and that makes me nervous. What if there's an emergency?

Acclaimed Author?

I want to write. (An actual book, that is. I feel the need to clarify since technically I'm writing at this very moment.)

I wanted to be a writer when I was younger. It really doesn't count for anything because I also wanted to be a nurse, artist, librarian, and ballerina. But I figured since I liked to read, I could write. People who can write usually love to read, but that road does not go both ways. I am a terrible author. I can't create characters. I make up people like Disney does (Maybe I could work for them. But seriously, every Disney series about a middle class girl with two best friends, one of which is dumb and the other is a boy that the main character or the other friend will eventually date. And then they make random middle school trouble that they could avoid if they were normal people. And even though she never has money or a job, she never wears the same outfit. We're very off-topic.) I cannot make a plot. Kind of parallel to my life. Actually, exactly like my life. Case in point: my blog was supposed to be a showcase for my artwork and fiberous things, but I rant about things and terrorize my boyfriend.

The point is, I've figured out how I'm going to make my mark on the literary world! (Aside from writing a young adult series about mermaids because mermaids are so the new vampires.)

I can write memoirs and autobiographies! Or just one autobiography because that's how that works. Because I'm best at being me, and people would totally pay to read about my past and my opinions.

Or maybe that's just how it works in my head. The real point is, be nice to me because you might end up in my book.

Now I just need to do something interesting...

Retraction

I'm retracting my answer to the above question.

Well, partially. I still don't believe that you don't have legitimate answers to my questions, but it's also because of how you answer questions.

Anthony, you answer questions like a politician. I ask you something, and you sidetrack and give an answer without really answering me. It's annoying when actual politicians do it, and it super-duper-mega-annoying when you do it.

It's not like I'm asking you to draw up a cohesive plan to achieve world peace or write a bill on legalizing marijuana. I'm asking you simple questions that should have simple answers, but you twist them and blow them out of proportion and half answer at best. So I feel the same way I do when politicians hold press conferences: like you're lying or hiding something.

But don't worry. If it's that difficult for you to legitimately answer a question, I won't ask you anymore.

Formspring

I got a formspring because I find it interesting. You can ask me stuff too! But I like my first question and it was asked anonymously.

The interesting part is the "different people/different priorities" bit.

I say all the time that Anthony and I are opposites. I think he's as opposite from me as possible without one of us wanting to kill the other (or probably without one of conceding, read: me.) Not that it's a bad thing. I would also kill someone who was like me. I like that I'm the frenzied control freak and Anthony is the calm voice of reason and logic. I freak out and yell, and Anthony reminds me that swearing and being anxious doesn't help anything. It's surprisingly balanced considering I have a potentially obnoxious personality.

Merriam-Webster defines priorities as 1) a preferential rating or 2) something given or meriting attention before completing alternatives. I googled how to set priorities, and the first step is to know your values (which I do) and to picture where you want to be in 5 years. I don't have a lot of foresight when it comes to my life, but I don't think that's a bad thing (how I handle it: anxiety, crying, panic attacks; that's probably bad, but as far as taking things as they come: not bad.)

My Priorities

1. To not get pregnant and have to move back to Ennis.
   This is actually my biggest fear. Pretty much everyone who grew up in this town ends up moving back. Not that it's always a bad thing, but I am bound and determined to not live here.
2. Get a job.
   One for the summer and one in Denton so I don't even have to move back to Ennis over the summer.
3. Graduate college.
   Simple enough.
4. Have a career that I enjoy (aka one that utilizes my fibers degree.)
   This one might not be possible.

See, this doesn't even seem like priorities as much as a to do list. I have no clue. I've changed my major once, and I'm looking for a minor. And seeing as how I don't know, I don't know how FC knows.

But thank you for saying I'm cute. I take all forms of flattery (unless you're a creepy old man.)

The Best Policy

Honesty is the number one thing women look for in relationships. Not me though. I definitely want a sense of humor and a belief in God first. Honesty is in the top five though. I don't want someone who walks around calling me a fat bitch all the time because that'd get real old fast, but if I ask a point-blank question, I want an answer.

So, I asked Anthony if he thought he's the Settler or the Reacher in our relationship. (How I Met Your Mother. Anyone?) And he ignored me and avoided answering the question. And the one things I can't stand is being ignored, it pisses me off. So I kept asking because I know he has an answer. Everyone has an answer, and the fact that he didn't answer and tried to equalize our status proves to me that he thinks he's the Settler.

Case in point: I asked my parents too. My mom said that she and my dad were equal partners and to do the dishes before she walked away; however, my dad said that he was the reacher. Just saying, if Anthony thought he was the Reacher, he'd have no problem singing my praises, but he didn't. So he thinks he's the Settler and that admitting so will only make me angry.

I picked him to be the Settler too. I mean, I only had to wait a year after admitting that I liked him for him to ask me out. I don't care that I'm the Reacher, I'm dating up. But the fact that he refused to answer, even after I kept asking makes me upset.

I'm an honest person. I have a blog on the Internet where I openly rant about people I hate and how I grow a mustache. It might also be a cowardly, but I tell the truth. So I expect the same level of honesty from everyone, especially someone I'm dating. Probably more so from someone I'm dating. I don't ask questions about things I don't care about, that applies to everything from math to the news to my relationship and I don't appreciate being ignored. David (my ex-boyfriend) did the same thing. I told him everything, but anytime I got too close, he pushed me away. I don't like being on the outside.

So I have more questions for you, Anthony. If you can't answer this stupid question, how are you going to tell me the truth about things that matter? If I have to wait for you deign to tell me things, what else are you going to think is unimportant? And did you honestly think I was just going to let this go?