So far, this has been the easiest question to answer, which only sounds horrible when you first read it. Actually, probably afterward too, but I will get to explain myself: I chose my ex-boyfriend.
Not the "wish you didn't know" part though, that's harsh, even for me. But the need to let go of part is definitely my problem.
See, I don't like a lot of guys, romantically, that is. I'm infinitely picky, especially when it comes to dating. So when I do like a guy, when I can see myself with them, I have a tendency to latch on and obsess and worry. Probably all of the most unattractive traits a female can have, and I have them all.
I know that's what made my ex break up with me in the first place, but I'm not sorry. I can't apologize for feeling what I felt or saying what I said because I felt it and I meant it. I need follow Shakespeare's words and stay true to myself because pretending I'm not a passive aggressive control freak with mild paranoia and a caustic tongue would ultimately end the same way.
At any rate, I need to let go because I'm not going to get another guy with my tunnel vision. Getting married and/or dating is not my primary (or even secondary) goal, but I would eventually like to settle down and feel like a guy besides my dad loves me. I'm still going to be hella picky though. My last relationship did teach me a lot about what I really want in someone I'm stuck with 'til death do us part.
So here's to the guy who gets that I'm a little neurotic but doesn't give me cause to be; the guy who knows and accepts me for who and what I am before asking me to change; the guy who articulates as well as he listens; the guy who can dish it out as good as he can take it; the guy who's as honest as he is funny; the guy who doesn't have to decide, but knows; the guy who means forever and always (TAYLOR SWIFT REFERENCE. Did you catch it?); and may I be ready to let go of the past, accept him, and be as intense as ever because that's how I roll.
Also, it wouldn't hurt if he looked like Prince Eric*.
If he weren't animated, and therefore not real, I would kill that damn mermaid for him. Look at his eyes! And that dimple for Pete's sake! I'd so win too.
* Although I'm flexible on this one. I'll also accept Hercules, John Smith, or Aladdin. What is Disney hunks for $1000, Alex?
Ahahaha :)
ReplyDeleteI want the Beast (from Beauty and the Beast) because let's be honest I have always been a little into bad boys!