Day 9 - Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
The drifting thing happened to around 90% of my friends from high school. But since I didn't really like high school, I guess it's okay.
Then again, it also happened to about 90% of my college friends too. But if I'm choosing one, I pick Sam.
Sam is the first person I was really friends with when I came to UNT. We were both in the flute section for the Green Brigade, one day she asked me to eat lunch with her, and we hit it off from there. She introduced me to Cassandra, who is now my best friend and roommate, so it seems weird that we're not close anymore. The Sam I knew was great though. She was completely open. Does that make sense? Like not afraid to be a complete and total weirdo in front of strangers, cool with being herself, if that makes sense. When I first meet people I'm always afraid to be me at first because I'm pretty sure I scare people. Eventually though, I let it slip that I'm a complete freak, and then I just wait for them to run, but not Sam. She was weird to your face, she didn't hesitate to say what she was thinking, and I like that in people.
My original group was Sam, Julian, Anthony, and Cassandra, and it was the first time that I ever really "hung out" with my friends. My parents were over-protective, and they freaked out about boys and everything else, so for the first time, I was free. I had a group of friends who hadn't known me since kindergarten, who didn't know about my parents, who hadn't pre-judged me, and who actually liked me. But things happened. The melodrama that shouldn't be a big deal, but is because that's the definition of melodrama, and everything is crazy and nonsensical. Cracks and rifts form, sides are chosen, and you just have to wait for the dust to settle before you know what's going on. The things everyone claims to hate but just can't seem to get away from, you know?
I went out with her to dinner a couple months back in hopes of regaining what was lost, but she seemed more interested in past actions then focusing on me and the future, so I don't think I'll be doing that again, but we drifted, and I miss that crazy, cool, funny girl who taught me to laugh at myself.
Plaid Day (my camera doesn't like white people)!
It's a little bit relieving to know that 90% of the people you were friends with in college drifted away. I thought it was just me. You would think that with facebook and everything people would be easier to hold on to. I even wrote a whole blog entry about unfriending people because of this. I guess sometimes you have to let go of the past. One thing that I didn't quite articulate in my blog entry is that sometimes those people from your past bring up certain emotions, memories and insecurities that perhaps God doesn't want you to take into your future. They may keep you from growing and like a bonzai plant need to be trimmed. So perhaps that's why it is good that most people are only in our lives for a season.
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