Friday, January 7, 2011

30 Days of Truth - Day 8

Day 8 - Someone who has made your life hell or treated you like shit

I had a lot of trouble with this one too. I may lash out when I'm angry or upset, but it turns out that when I'm calm I can't think of anything. Sure, I know a lot of people who piss me off or have treated me like shit, but I guess I'm pretty lucky that I can't think of anyone who consistently made my life hell or treated me like shit.

However, I can think of an entire group...

In high school, I was a band nerd. Do you know why I was a band nerd? The theater kids were a bunch of assholes. And I wasn't even a great band nerd.

When I was younger, I dreamed of performing. I didn't want to be a famous actress or anything, I just like being in school plays and singing because my love of musicals goes way back. I've been in church Christmas/Easter pageants since I was three or four. In elementary school, I can remember being a toy soldier for an incredibly diluted performance of The Nutcracker. I was in Encore Choir in middle school. We would do a holiday show and a spring musical, and I can remember being Raggedy Ann and Ethel Toffelmier in our production of The Music Man. In junior high, there wasn't really a theater program, there was regular choir and then you could try out for One Act Play, which I never did because I was in Ready Writing, and I was in band.

In high school, everything was different. I think they sucked all the fun out of theater. Well, maybe the theater kids did have fun. I wouldn't know since I tried out for four different shows and never got a part, not even a small one, not even backstage. So I took the theater elective so I could learn more about theater, and I tried joining the drama club in an attempt to get to know everyone better, but that was an obvious waste of time since I had already been deemed unworthy by their clique.

My absolute favorite was the last show I tried out for, Alice in Wonderland. I convinced my best friend to go with me because I felt like such an outsider. Surprise, surprise I didn't get a part yet, she did. Oh, and not only her, but one of her friends who she convinced to audition with us the day of auditions. Later, my best friend became historian for the drama club, the office I wanted but couldn't even run for since you had to be in at least one show to become an officer.

I can accept the fact that I'm a crap actress, and no, I didn't take theater as seriously as them, but it wasn't like we went to a magnet school that specialized in that type of thing. It wasn't even like most of them were really great actors. Trust me, our plays weren't Oscar worthy, there were no groundbreaking performances. I seriously doubt anyone from Ennis High School will ever be famous (with the exception of Aaron Schumacher, because that boy is great.) But I cannot accept how cold and exclusive they were. They really acted like there were awards to be won and so much on the line for a great musical and like I was just going to ruin everything. All of them weren't even nice to me as a person outside of theater.

Looking back, I wonder why I wanted to be a part of that group, but hindsight is always 20/20.

I've got it.

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