Friday, May 28, 2010

Relationship Woes and Criminal Minds

Bailey (my best frannnnn) doesn't like it when I talk about Anthony. I can tell because Bay has the worst habit of outright ignoring anything she doesn't want to talk about. I noticed and purposely said something about him. Bailey said, "Does it smell like tea to you?" (We were driving with the windows down, and it did.)
I've kinda always been proud of the fact that I have better things to talk about than just my significant other. Granted, I've only dated one other person. But while we were dating, I avoided any conversation about him, mostly because it made me uncomfortable and I knew it was annoying. I actually stopped talking to a couple friends while in high school because all they did was sit around and tell the same 3 stories about their boyfriends (and now, none of them are dating anymore which is exactly my point.) But naturally, when I do something it's different.

I wasn't talking about making out with him, or relating some anecdote about him that was only really funny if you were there, or how I'm so in love with him and going to marry him or anything. Well, it might have been a not-so-funny anecdote (Not really. I was talking about how he thinks Lady Gaga is pretty because she's not. And then how we were going to his brother's graduation. Totally non-threatening.)

Cassandra does it too. It's just really strange because I actually consider Anthony one of my best friends, and I spend 99% of my time with him. I talk about him the way I talk about all of my friends, but I only get that "that's nice" pat on the head attitude when I mention his name. It's irritating and probably karma.
Oh well, their loss. Anthony and I are adorable. And I'll talk about him if I feel like it!

In other news, fat Tim Curry looks like a tree frog.

In other other news from the same episode, my future husband got a hair cut.

His hair before was shoulder length, frizzy, and greasy looking because he was growing it out for a role. Now it's over, he cut it, and he's adorable. I don't care how fake Dr. Spencer Reid is, I think I literally started drooling when he was on-screen.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Child Stars

Everyone here watched the Disney channel growing up right? You might have noticed that Disney has a thing for kids. Kids used to be into cartoons and animation, but now kids want real life. Kids wants characters they can relate to, so Disney now takes the cookie cutter show that proved to be a success (It started with Lizzie McGuire. Middle class girl with a guy best friend and a girl best friend. Girl best friend is usually stupid. Trifecta interacts with family and school and create problems they must solve. The main character has a crush on someone out of their league, but may or may not end up with boy best friend. If not, girl best friend dates boy best friend.)

But obviously, ex-Disney kids have all the problems. Disney brings them up as child stars, they're famous, they have everything, then they turn 18, and Disney drops them faster than a slippery bar of soap in a shower. Because I have nothing else to do, I've thoroughly analyzed these young stars and now I'm providing you with my results.

Disney kids fall into two main categories after graduating into real life.

The Lohans:

After growing out of their clean Disney roots, the Lohans must prove that they are no longer children by becoming "adults." Usually found excessively partying, wearing barely any clothing, and engaging in other questionable behavior.

And The Hilaries:

Characterized as wholesome goody two-shoes. Often tries to engage in behavior of Lohan. When they realize no one cares, they embrace their "good girl" side and attempt to capitalize on that. After leaving Disney, the Hilaries usually make bad straight to TV movies, date older men, get married, and have kids with little to no media attraction. Examples include Ashley Tisdale and Raven Simone.

Now to apply this knowledge, examine the current Disney stars.

Miley Cyrus is such a Lohan, it's not even funny. She's what, 17 now? I bet within two years, she has a sex tape and at least one arrest for what, I don't know, although she should be arrested for bad singing and acting.

On the other hand, I give the same amount of time to Demi Lovato before everyone is like, "Demi who?" You, ma'am, are a Hilary.

Demi Lovato as a Hilary is strange because she's dating a Lohan.

The Jonas Brothers. Kevin is a Hilary, he's even already married. Joe is a Lohan simply because he's dated every one on the face of the Disney earth. Maybe he'll stay with Demi. Nick confuses me. He is kind of a man whore like Nick, but he's also facing the danger of being forgettable like Kevin. My vote is for him becoming a Hilary.

Speaking of Disney couples,

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are both Hilaries. Zac Efron has more potential to become an actual star because come on.

Hotness goes a long way when it comes to guys, but since all Hollywood's A-list women are expected to be hot, it doesn't fare so well for girls. Vanessa Hudgens even had that whole naked picture scandal and then turned back into a good girl complete with horrible non-Disney movie. So, sorry Vanessa Ann, you're headed for oblivion. Unless you marry Zac. And you're okay with living in his shadow. Maybe have a kid. Then get divorced. And even that's not your career.

Arguably the original Lohan, Britney Spears did launch the whole bad girl, bad behavior bit, but Ms. Spears didn't really have a rival as her direct opposite. Sure, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, and Mandy Moore with Britney formed the blond quartet that popularized around that time, but I don't believe any of them were competition.

You're welcome.

Although, Mandy Moore is appropriately boring. And she did a string of bad movies, with the exception of A Walk to Remember. Anyone who doesn't think she's a Hilary, tell me where she is now.

You might wonder why I didn't pick Christina Aguilera as Britney's rival. See, the media tried to play up their careers as a type of competition, and if Ms. Aguilera hadn't copied Britney, they definitely would be the original Hilary and Lindsay. That's what bothers me about Christina Aguilera. There was some commercial to promote her new music video, and the announcers called her a "chameleon" who's "not afraid to change her look." She only changes her look when someone else is popular. Britney became Toxic; Christina got Dirrty. Gwen Stefani and Katy Perry were into '50s glamour and she tried to be a pin-up, now she's trying to be Lady Gaga. I'm on to you, Christina. You're not fooling anyone.

In reality, Christina probably is a Hilary. She's married and has a kid. You didn't know that did you? Because no one cares. And that's the trademark of the Hilary.

I don't know which one is which, but when it comes to Dylan and Cole Sprouse, I'm betting that one will be a Lohan and one will be a Hilary. You get to guess who.

Last but not least,

Megan Fox wasn't a Disney kid, but I feel like talking about her. I'm hesitant to call her a Lohan. On one hand, she seems bitchy, skanky, and difficult to be around which is prime Lohan behavior, but on the other, there aren't tons of photos of her partying, she claims to have only slept with two people, and I kinda like her. So if she's undefinable, that would make her a real star right?

I don't care what Anthony says, she's pretty. I love her eyebrows, and that's all that matters.

Friday, May 21, 2010


I don't start my summer job until school ends and summer starts. So I have two more weeks of nothing! What do I do in Denton that is so entertaining? I really can't think of anything to do here, and every time someone suggests something for me to do, it involves driving or spending money I don't have. I am so bored, I can't think of anything interesting to blog about besides my boredom.

Random survey time!

This, That, or the Other

I used to work at McDonalds, and I've always hated Burger King, so Wendy's.

Pants because the shorts the sell nowadays are too short. Anthony called them "denim panties."

Steak! Medium rare, please.


I need texting and the Internet! I guess I pick Internet because I'm living okay without texting right now.



I actually have no preference because I'm not a video game junkie, but I guess Wii.

Chinese. And I'm not sure what "American" food is since America is just everything.

South Park.

Facebook. No contest.


I don't like any of these girls, but I choose Dakota Fanning as the lesser of evils.

I don't drink, but I choose wine because I'm classy. ;)

Beautiful. It takes too much work to be sexy or gorgeous.

Whole! I never got the difference between milks until the college cafeteria offered all three.

Elmo is adorable and Barney was my favorite in childhood, but I'm going to have to go with Dora. Something about that Latina makes me smile.


Football. If I'm going to watch a sport, there must be a good chance someone will get hurt.

Red heads!

Markers. Of the permanent variety.


Ew. Futon since I have to pick.


Truck! I want one. Not to haul things, I just like being taller than other people.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Oscar Wilde Knows His Stuff

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his."
~ Oscar Wilde

My mother is driving me crazy. She just complains. All the time. About everything I do.

For instance, I got 4 Bs and 1 A this semester, I also got a lecture on how I should be trying harder. I'll admit that I coast through school, but I'm only interested in the classes that deal with my major. And it's practically an impossibility to make an A in art, it's very subjective. In one of my art classes, I would change my projects to fit my teachers suggestions because she'd give me a higher grade.

My dad said something about needing to buy more bread, and she said, "That's Essence, she's eating up all the food in the house." EXACT WORDS. I had 3 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. One on Saturday after I came home, one for breakfast on Sunday, and one during Celebrity Apprentice which is also when she said that. She talks about me needing to work out and losing weight too.

My dad said he'd get me a job because everyone in Ennis loves him and me by proxy. My mom is nagging me to apply for other jobs. If I was already promised a job, why would apply for jobs that every other kid in Ennis is applying for?

She told me I should date this random black kid that helped her move my stuff because apparently I said black guys aren't nice (I didn't. My sister did.) I found that rather insulting because I love Anthony, and when I told her that, she gave me this long lecture about how she doesn't care who I date as long as they can provide for me, but Anthony and I had to be prepared to face racists and blah blah blah. She just sounds like she's trying to be supportive, but underneath she disapproves. It's annoying.

And any time I tell her that she's being annoying or insulting, she gets all angry and tries to make it seem like I'm overreacting and overemotional and that I'm being rude to her (and shut up Anthony because I know I do the same thing to you.)

So we're exactly the same and I can't live with her!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I Hate Change.

That's why I'm a Republican. Okay, not really, but I really don't like change. I like to make plans and then keep them. I know life rarely works that way, but I believe there's a big difference between modifying plans and changing them.

For example, I planned to live in an apartment. Modifying would be moving into a different apartment under the same lease for the same agreement. Moving into a house after signing a lease with an apartment is change.

I do not want to move into a house. Unlike every other person my age, I do not believe under any circumstances that I am an adult or ready for "grown up" things. I came from a small town where everything was handed to me on a silver platter. I still rely on my parents to pay for everything, and until I can semi-support myself, even just paying my own phone bill, I refuse to even try and pretend that I'm an adult. I wanted the apartment because it seemed like the next logical step from a dorm. We'd be responsible for a few more bills, but it'd be like a dorm with my own bathroom.

I mean, it's a pretty good deal. My roommates are friends with the kid who's parents would be renting us the place, and she agreed to furnish it, make individual leases, work on providing cable and Internet, and credit the amount it would cost to break the lease towards our house rent, but I'm still skeptical. I'm the only one who's never met her, and in addition to hating change, I have trust issues.

One of my biggest problems with it is transportation. The apartment is on a bus route, and buses at NT run from 7:00 AM to 10:30 PM. I wouldn't have to stay on campus if I didn't need to, and the walk is about 5 minutes. The house is not a part of the bus system, so we'd have to drive.

I am under no circumstances walking. Hanna pointed out that I walk around campus every day, but that's the point. According to the pedometer on my phone, I walk an average of 2 miles a day. That doesn't even include the fact that I'm an art major and carrying a couple pounds of art supplies too. I have literally almost passed out on the walk from Hickory Hall to Maple from a combination of the heat and the extra 10 pounds of drawing material. Walking around campus is also not taking consideration for the crazy ass Texas weather. What will happen when it's 100+ degrees? When it's around 30 degrees in the winter? When it rains? The campus almost floods, and I'd have to walk across the highway. I'm terrified of dying in some type of car accident. Also, I don't believe the house is as close to campus as they try to make it seem. I'm pretty sure it's over a mile. In junior high, we were supposed to run a mile in under 11 minutes. I never made it below 15.

So, driving it is. But only Cassandra and I have cars. Parking passes are a couple hundred dollars, and there is never anywhere to park. Ever. Cassandra suggested splitting a parking pass four ways and leaving it in one car, but I'm against that too. I don't want to stay on campus until everyone's finished with class, I'm done at 3 each day. And what if we have jobs? They could split a parking pass among the three of them, but I would want my own, and then inevitably, someone would want to borrow my car. And then I'd have to turn into MegaBitch and tell them that they knew they didn't have a car, so why'd they want to live with no transportation and demand that they walk like they're suggesting I do.

Did I mention that at Gateway, we would get our own bathrooms? My entire life, I've been sharing a bathroom with people who were oblivious to the fact that I need hours to get ready. At home, my sister locks herself in the bathroom and stays in there for an hour or more, even before church. (We leave for church at 8:30 AM, and we get up around 7:00 AM.) I take 20-30 minutes to shower, brush my teeth, and wash my face, and then I did my hair and makeup in my room so that she still had 30-45 minutes to get ready, but if I didn't get up before her, I had to wait until 15 minutes before we had to leave for church. Cassandra and I shower at different times, and she doesn't take more than 10 minutes at our little sink, but if she doesn't shower the night before, and I get up late, we're fighting for sink time because in front of the sink is the only place to do my hair. It's annoying. I was so looking forward to not having to worry about anyone else while I took an hour to do my hair.

Another big issue is that according to the agreement we made with our apartment complex, we'd have to pay the first and last months rent and continue to pay rent until they found someone to fill our spot. That's bullshit, and I do not want to have to look for someone else to live in my room. That is entirely too much work to save $100 a month. With my luck, I'd be the only one with no one taking over their lease, then I'd have to pay $800 for 2 places to live.

I seriously considered not moving even if they decide to move into the house because I've decorated my bedroom in that apartment already, and I planned on living there. It was going to be amazing.

It's going to match the colors of my area rug. :)

Anthony said I can decorate the new room in the house, but I have no idea what that space looks like. I really did have the entire thing planned out for the apartment. I added all the stuff I wanted online to shopping carts, and I was going to buy them over time during the summer. Now it's ruined. But I talked to my dad, and he would rather I move into the house than live with strangers.

It also really pisses me off that now that there's a "better" deal, they're acting like an apartment is just the worst thing ever and this house is going to be our Mecca. None of them were worried about living around other people, those people making noise, and the $435 a month before. If it was fine before, it's fine now.

And if we do move into her house, I would want everything that Gateway is providing. I want it fully furnished, I want cable and Internet provided, and I want to live in the garage that has been turned into a "media room" as my bedroom, even though I think Lexie wants it.

The whole thing is really stressing me out because like I said, I don't like change. I understand that the cheaper the better for Lexie and Hanna. Price is at the bottom of my concerns because both my parents work and won't let me become a hobo. My dad says that this is why he didn't want me to live with three other people, but a one person apartment is like $900 and a two person is around $600 per person, and that is not cheaper than living in the dorms.

So although I am dead set against it, if the other three decide to move, I'll follow them. But I'll resent it. And they can't borrow my car.

Friday, May 7, 2010

You Know What I Don't Like?

Have you ever wanted something but had no idea where you'd buy it in an actual store? Did you immediately think "Ebay! Ebay has random crap!" and proceed to search endlessly for the perfect product? Did you find the item you wanted buried under twelve billion pages of ridiculous nonsense, bid twice the amount the seller requested just to make sure there was no way you could lose the auction, and still end up being outbid at the last second?

This happens every time I want something arbitrary; therefore, eBay is of the devil.

Think about it: Something that sounds great but really screws you. I have never won an auction. It seems like every time I offer to buy something that no one else has bid on at all, it immediately becomes a hot commodity. Does eBay have some kind of feature that's like, "To see what other people bid on and decide that you want it also so you can mess up their hopes and dreams, click here!"

Remember those sweater clips I mentioned bidding on while I was supposed to be writing an English paper? I checked back today and not only was I no longer highest bidder, several people decided to war on something that had previous to my bid, no offers.

The set of sweater clips on the left started out at $4.00 plus $2.95 S&H. The set on the right started at $9.00 plus $2.00 S&H. Guess what the prices are now? $12.00 and $19.99, respectively. I just wanted sweater clips so I could dress like Emma from Glee! Is that really too much to ask?

It seems like I'm doing all of the dirty work for these creepers to swoop in and steal my findings. I believe the sellers of eBay should pay me for doing such a service. They're getting triple the money just because I reallyreally want sweater clips.

I re-bid, and I'm currently the highest bidder for both, but since I never win auctions, I'm just glad I jacked up the price on the jerks who steal my hopes of looking cute with a cardigan. ENJOY THEM.

P. S. - I'm making a resolution to only buy from the 'Buy it now' category. I can't lose, motherbitches!

P.P.S. - I also hate iTunes.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

How to Write an English Paper in 30 Easy Steps

That's right, I said 30! It's even Princeton approved (not really, but it should be!)

How to BS an English Paper in 30 Steps Or Fewer*

Step 1: Forget what paper is supposed to be about.
Step 2: Hate English teacher for moving due date up two days and not adequately explaining what paper is supposed to be about.
Step 3: Google "critique" because you remember you're supposed to be critiquing a paper you previously wrote. Find this site.
Step 4: Look for paper that your paper is supposed to be about. Find every other paper in existence. Find paper that's not even your paper.
Step 5: Recycle and sort through giant mound of paper. Continue to hate English professor.
Step 6: Check Facebook.
Step 7: Turn on Wizards of Waverly Place. Watch 3 episodes. Find Selena Gomez adorable.
Step 8: Finally answer questions from site.
Step 9: Start thinking about sweater clips. You want sweater clips. You need sweater clips.
Step 10: Visit eBay and make 3 bids on different sets of sweater clips.
Step 11: Start blog.
Step 12: Open blank Word document.
Step 13: Write one sentence.
Step 14: Play spider solitaire. Lose 3 games.
Step 15: Write one paragraph.
Step 16: Play a couple more games of spider solitaire.
Step 17: Inspiration strikes! Write one whole page. Lose inspiration.
Step 18: Eat dinner. Avoid paper.
Step 19: Stare at screen. Type some more.
Step 20: Get distracted by roommate watching Battlestar Galactica with no concern whatsoever about your paper that's due in less than 8 hours.
Step 21: Remember this really cool show that you used to watch and wonder what happened to it. Google it. Realize you can watch it online! Wonder why it was cancelled.
Step 22: Type some more.
Step 23: Go to church. Spend about 2 hours talking about God. Spend another hour just talking. Not that any of that is a bad thing, but your paper is due at midnight and it is currently 10:00 PM, CST.
Step 24: Demand that boyfriend drives you back to campus that instant. Keep repeating, "Paper due at midnight," as response to any and every question or remark made in your direction.
Step 25: Bang out another page and a half in an hour. Feel accomplished and proud of your 2 and a half page essay.
Step 26: Realize paper is supposed to be at least 3 full pages. Feel appropriately anguished. Hate English teacher more. Lose will to live.
Step 27: Check text messages. Notice battery is dying. Plug in.
Step 28: Change Facebook status to quote from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.
Step 29: Type like a mad woman. Finally finish paper! Actually have 3 and half pages. Feel like a BAMF.
Step 30: Email paper to stupid English teacher. Hate him some more. Vow to never, ever procrastinate ever again ever. Pass out in whimpering mass of sheer exhaustion.

*The "fewer" part depends entirely on if you choose to check Facebook, have a propensity to play spider solitaire instead of working, be generally easily distracted, and/or go to church or dinner.

Easy peasy, right?

Monday, May 3, 2010

Relatively Useless Survey

I say relatively because you might be stalking me. At least then some of this information would be useful.

1) A vampire or a wizard (and why)???

A witch. In fact, I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts acceptance letter.
2) If you could change one thing about you, what would it be - if anything???
I would like to have an easier time talking to people. Or, permanently smooth legs, underarms, and face (I happen to get a chicstache. Don't judge me.)
3) Would you rather live like a rock star or like a president? (in other words: fun or power?)

Definitely rock star. I have a feeling I'd be assassinated if I were president. And I could always throw a benefit concert if I wanted to do some good in the world.

4) What's your favourite cartoon character???
Bubbles from The Powerpuff Girls.
5) What's your (most) guilty pleasure?
I like to hear people say that I make really good cupcakes. Does that count?
6) If you were a song, what would it be???
"Corona and Lime" by Shwayze.
7) What's your biggest dream?
Currently, to graduate in one piece, but that doesn't seem like much of a dream. Hmmm... I would like to travel around the world and see absolutely everything. All of it. Then, come back to America, make a home, and have a secure life. That sounds like a dream to me.
8) Do you prefer to be the one who asks questions or the one who answers them, and why???
The one who asks questions. Anthony will tell you, I enjoy making people feel awkward. Plus, if I ask, it's because I'm genuinely interested in the answer.
9) What is your biggest turn off and turn on?
For turn off, I choose ego. It's one thing to be confident, it's entirely another to think that you are more important than anything else.

For turn on, I'm going to have to have a toss up between good sense of humor and blue eyes. So you know, Anthony, you only have one of those, which is why I have to have a toss up.
10) Have you ever broken any law?

I've driven barefoot. Isn't that a law?

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