Thursday, April 29, 2010

Girl Hot vs. Guy Hot

When I was in junior high, this one girl called me a lesbian (And she recently sent me a friend request on Facebook. Don't you hate that? We are so not friends.) Since I'm not sexually attracted to women, in theory I'd be a very bad lesbian, so her accusation is false.

Since taking figure drawing and art history, I've determined that I just have a greater appreciation for the female body, and it's totally okay. Women are the subject of pretty much every artist ever because girls are better. The end.

Anthony and I have different opinions about everything. Including women.

For instance, Anthony thinks Demi Lovato is cute.

I can't stand to look at her for too long. Something about her face makes me angry. I don't know what or why.

Instead I choose:

Emma Watson. She's beautiful, English (yeah, that makes a difference,) and fashion forward. And not dating Joe Jonas, who has dated every other Disney girl (I thought Ennis was bad for sloppy seconds, but the Disney kids totally win the icky dating pool contest. The Jonas brothers alone are like sloppy fifth or sixths.)

Next, Anthony thinks Lady Gaga is "pretty."

I think she looks like a drag queen. Aside from the fact that I think she tries to be weird for weird's sake, I'm pretty sure she's a man. If I'm ever close to her hands, I will use a trick I learned from Manswers to see if her ring finger is longer than her pointer finger and determine that I am right and that Anthony has bad taste in pretty (excluding me, if he does think I'm pretty.)

This is the only "blonde" Anthony chose (He has a thing for tall, skinny brunettes.) I say if you're going to go blonde...

Go for the blonde, Heidi Klum. Anthony doesn't think she's that attractive, but she's had 4 kids and after each she just bounces right back to her model body. It kinda makes me hate her, but she's so cute in addition to hot.

I asked Anthony if he could sleep with any celebrity, who would it be and he picked either Anne Hathaway or Liv Tyler. And that's how I know he likes brunettes. According to Allure, a person's answer to that question is their physical type (I choose John Cusack. I might have better taste in women. My second choice is Nacho Figueras. You're welcome.)

I'll give him both of these. But I'm also going to pick:

Sarah Jessica Parker. She actually won "Least Sexiest Woman" either last year or the year before that, but I love her. I think she's beautiful, and my opinion is the best. Besides, if she's not sexy, why in the world is Carrie Bradshaw getting some every single day?

Maybe I'm just in love with the clothes...

Finally, if I were a lesbian, I would be all over...

Scarlett Johansson. She looks good with any hair color (But I love the blonde.) She's a good actress. If Anthony and I agreed on anything, I would think it would be the glory that is Scarlett, but nope. Come on. Issaac Mizrahi is gay, and he even took the opportunity to feel her up. Watch!

Ryan Reynolds be dammed!

Monday, April 26, 2010

I Hate It When

I've decided to start a new series of posts entitled, "I Hate It When..." where I complain about things that annoy me. Aren't you excited? Of course, it is my opinions that you totally care about and can't wait to enjoy right?

Today, I hate it when...
- people talk about me and Anthony either:
  1. having sex
  2. getting married
  3. having children

I admit to seriously encouraging 2 and 3, but more on that later.

I hate hate hate when people talk about sex. So it stands to reason that I loathe when people talk about me having sex. Usually, they're either kidding or telling us not to have sex, but I don't care.

Do not concern yourself with my sex life in jest or otherwise.

First of all, if I was having sex, I wouldn't talk about it with anyone given my propensity to scream and generally act like a child when other people do. Secondly, to the people who tell us not to have sex or act like we really just can't not have sex because our hormones are raging: If we wanted to, we would be. End of story. But Anthony and I both have made promises to ourselves, each other, and God that we're going to wait, so we are. Stop acting like you know things about me that I don't. I can and will wait until marriage, and the more you imply that I can't, the harder I will try to prove you wrong. I don't know about Anthony, but I totally possess the will power and self-control to keep my legs closed. Not to mention absolute fear that I will get pregnant or AIDS.

Now that that's out of the way, I hate it when one of our friends calls me "Essence Beasley-Hufford." I hate it when anyone talks about us getting married or implies that it's going to happen. I understand that marriage is sorta implied maybe because we are dating, but it's kinda creepy. I mean, I absolutely adore Anthony, and I hope that maybe one day (a long, long, long, long, looooooooong time from now) we'll get married, but Anthony doesn't. I asked. I may be naming our children and decorating our house, but he's a guy, and he's not thinking that far ahead, and I don't want to plan my life around something that isn't guaranteed.

The whole point of us dating is to figure that out right? A long, long, long, long, long, long, long, loooooooooooong, looooooooooong time from now.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Actual Art

Since the title of my blog suggests that I craft, (which I do, but it is rare and usually associated with whatever art class I'm currently taking) I'm actually posting art! I'm in beginning watercolor right now and I love it! We had to do paintings in a series, and I painted fabric. A girl in my class said I should hang them in my house and tell people that I like cloth. :)

My series was entitled, "Stash" since that's what the craftsters call their collections of fabric, yarn, or other art supplies. From left to right they are "Acquire," "Accumulate," and "Hoard," which accurately describes my process of getting fabric. They're all 22" by 30" on cold-press Arches. And the little ones on the bottom are the thumbnails and are 11" by 15".




Accumulate is totally my favorite, but my professor like Hoard because of the random zipper. She also said Hoard has better variety of direction. Hoard also has the most prints, but I just love the solid colors and shadows in Accumulate. Acquire is the least interesting because most of the fabric is flat, so it doesn't have the interesting dips and folds, and the shadows don't look deep enough.

I guess that's all for now.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


I'm a Christian, just in case you didn't know. I was raised in the Church of Christ, but I started attending a Messianic church in November. I wasn't moving churches or looking for a new "religion" or anything, I just went with a friend because I was interested and I kept going because the people at Heritage Fellowship Church are the most amazing people ever.

Anyway, Heritage is different from the Church of Christ in Hutchins where I previously attended with my parents and different from the Denton Church of Christ that I attended my freshman year. We do typically Jewish things, but it's for Jesus our Messiah, which makes Heritage a Christian church.

All I did was ask my mother to go to a Passover Seder. She does not like that I attend Heritage (I knew she wouldn't like it, so I told her that I only go to a Wednesday night Torah study and she still pitches a fit every time I mention Heritage.) She thinks that I'm being "converted" or brainwashed or something. I was like, "But Jesus went to Passover! That's where He conducted the Last Supper. In fact, that's where He did the body as bread and blood as wine thing (communion, but I get very flustered when I'm trying to defend myself.)" Then my sister jumped in with, "Yeah, where He created His new church!" (my sister is just a mini-me of my parents. She just regurgitates everything they tell her. I absolutely cannot wait for her to leave them and get a brain of her own, but that's another blog entirely.)

Anyway, I gave up trying to defend Heritage because I get flustered and I really don't know that much about Heritage. My mother said one last thing to me before moving on to making fun of me for something else, "Remember that you're a Christian."

I am not a Jew by blood or by faith. I'm not even 100% sure that I'm Messianic, but I know that I am a Christian. Do not question my faith in Jesus. The truth is, I hate the Church of Christ. Yeah. I hate that whole, "We're the church that Christ created and if you don't believe what we believe, you'll go to hell and we'll wave to you from our mansions" bullshit. That is only pushing people away from God. Jesus came here to include us all, not exclude some people because they don't bear the title you want them to have. I hate the condemning attitude that the Church of Christ has. I hate the stupid rules that I'm pretty sure they made up, like girls not being able to wear a certain type of swimsuit to a youth outing to Hurricane Harbor (yeah, it happened) because of "modesty" while pretty much everyone I was in the youth group with has a baby now. I hate that when I come home from the Church of Christ with my family, all they can do is make fun of the minister and not talk about what we went to church for, the word of God.

I may not know my "religion," but I know that in the Church of Christ in Hutchins and in Denton, I was spiritually stagnant. I love Heritage Fellowship so much because I can tell that everyone I come into contact with believes in God and Jesus wholeheartedly. Sure, they have problems, every church does, but they are believers. I feel so much closer to God, and I want to keep that feeling that you are interfering with.

Do not act like I'm betraying the Lord by finding Him elsewhere when I'm really offending you. Do not tell me that I can't possibly feel the spirit of the Lord because I don't have the label that you gave to me. And do not say that the way I choose to worship Him is Jewish. Jesus celebrated Passover, and I bet He liked it.

I digress, but not much. Another topic my family and I get into fights over is homosexuality. None of us condone it, but that's where we diverge.

I suppose this started last year when I started hanging out with Julian. They made fun of him all the time, but at the same time, they seemed to think he would just decide that he liked girls and would rape me. I don't know. Anyway, I was like, "He's gay. He doesn't like girls." and my mom would be like, "So? I have a cousin who's gay and he has three kids." Then I was like, "That doesn't mean anything. That was in like the 70's where you couldn't admit you were gay because people would think you had AIDS so you had to get married and keep it on the down low. It's okay to be openly gay now." and then she'd keep talking.

And the last time I was home during spring break, my father used the term "fagot" to describe that guy from America's Next Top Model.

Which he probably very well is, but I was so angry. I was like, "Do not ever call anyone that."
"Well, that's what he is."
"Daddy, do you realize that's the equivalent of someone calling you a nigger because you're black? You are a Christian."
"God is against homosexuality."
"That may be, but that is rude and uncalled for."

Don't get me wrong, I love my father. He is actually a very wonderful person, he's on the school board and he was my Girl Scout troop leader. He works the night shift so that he can be at home to pick us up from school or come to school plays. And he obviously isn't openly intolerant or I wouldn't have been as shocked and disgusted as I was.

God may not like homosexuality, but I believe that that is between that person and God when they meet at the pearly gates. As a Christian, it is not my place to judge anyone for what they choose to do, it is my job to be fair and nice to everyone equally. "Love your neighbor as yourself" is a commandment and calling people names is not love.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Question 8

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

ZOMG. I already feel like my life is ending slowly, and I'm only 20. I think most of my life would be the same, actually. I would still toil away in college to get a degree to get a better job because if everyone's life span is shorter, the bachelor's degree would be relevant again. I think I'd be more adventurous. My parents sheltered me away for the first 18 years of my life, and I'm having a really hard time adjusting to the fact that my parents don't control me anymore. Even though I live in Denton, and they have no idea what I do up here, I behave like they're breathing down my back.

I would spend more money. I hate money anyway because it's completely pointless to horde and store it away. Until you need it for an emergency. Then you never seem to have enough money. And then if you save all your money, and you die, then the money is just passed to someone else and it causes fights and heartache. It's just dumb, especially since money is essentially worthless; it only has the value we place on it, and frankly, we place too much value on it since it's fake! Money makes me angry. But I'd spend more of it. I wouldn't just go out and buy things hap-hazardously just because I wanted to spend it, but I'd splurge on a good vacation or give more to charity. But I could do this now, and anyway, it would all depend on how much money I actually end up having.

I would also put more of a priority on having a family. I really want a husband and children and a house of my own anyway, but if I only live to be 40, I couldn't use my current plan of not having a baby before 25, preferably as late as 30. I could not have children at all, but I would still like to be married. And I wouldn't actually buy a house if we only lived to be 40, that seems pointless.

Current state of the union.
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