Wednesday, March 31, 2010

On another note

Everything that is good and right with the world contains leaven. I accidentally ate bread today. :( I just wanted something from the cafeteria that didn't look like cat barf. I successfully avoided the Girl Scout cookies and Zebra Cakes though.

But you know what snack does not contain leaven? Potato chips! I am saved!!!

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

I actually think I would do super well in social work of some kind. I like volunteering and helping people. But work that I already do and hope to continue: ARTWORK.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Since I will officially be switching majors to fibers, I am most definitely doing what I believe in. Doing what I believe in after paying for classes teaching me what I'm believing in will be the hard part...


I generally don't like women (excluding girls under the age of 8 and Southern Baptist moms). I feel like most women fall into the stereotypical "woman" format, you know, catty and jealous. She talks about you behind your back and plans to steal your man and all that jazz. Like along with the XX gene, "women" get the bitchy, narcissistic trait that makes them "women." Cassandra is one of the few women that I don't dislike just because she has a vagina. She likes sports and is very quiet and amicable. In fact, we both hate "women," and that's part of the reason we're so compatible. I absolutely love Cassandra.

That being said, I want to cunt punt that skank.

She's been acting like a complete cow ever since I started dating Anthony. Before I was dating Anthony, she would occasionally be angry with him because she felt like he was ignoring her or treating her like she was stupid, but we were all friends. She and Anthony took technical writing together and they'd do homework and be completely fine with each other. Now she's flat out being a bitch if Anthony is even in the same room with her. I get that sometimes Anthony is annoying. He annoys me sometimes, and I'm his girlfriend (Love you!) but the way she's acting, you'd think he was stealing her credit card information and poking her repeatedly with a stick while spitting on her grandmother. Last night at Passover, Anthony tried to fix her dress and she growled, "Don't touch me."

Cassandra didn't even sleep in our room last night. After Passover, she just stomped upstairs, and I went to Anthony's room because no one wants to hang out with a cow. I got back around 1 AM, and Cassandra just never showed up, not even at 8 AM when I got up to get ready for class. So I guess she's now including me in her anger towards Anthony. If her anger is some sort of negative reaction to us "ignoring" her, she's gonna need to stop PMSing before I pay her any attention. Using the silent treatment has no affect on me whatsoever. I just ignore you back and feel justified. So naturally, I feel totally vindicated in my assumption that she's being an irrational woman, and I refuse to ask her what's wrong. As far as I'm concerned, she can stomp around from now until we move into our apartment and after that, I am going to enjoy time with Anthony and find people to hang out with who aren't women.

In retrospect, this is probably God paying me back for how I acted about Robert last semester. I would explain the whole Robert situation, but there simply isn't enough time. For a shortened version, it involves a lot of he-said-she-said, anger, bitchiness on my part, and the silent treatment, like if the current roles were reversed, I would have been bitchy Cassandra.

What makes this funny, Robert once said, "Cassandra's not a bitch," during one of our conversations about why I don't like "women."

Dear Robert,
I'm totally right. Just because she's not a bitch to you, doesn't mean she doesn't have the capability of being a bitch. It's genetics, nucca!
Love, Essence

P.S. - She's a bitch to you too, actually. She's just a lot quieter, and she gets over it faster. But so you know, you piss her off too.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Oy vey!

Pesach tov!

For the non-Jew/Messianic Jew, that means Happy Passover! The rules are: 1) No leaven and 2) have a Seder dinner, but I've already broken the first rule. I know you're supposed to throw out all the chametz, but I REFUSE to throw away my Zebra Cakes. They are like little yellow pieces of heaven.

Anyway, aside from my leaven slip-up, I am bogged down with homework! I know it's my fault because I wait until the last minute to do everything, but still.

And finally, since I didn't do it the last 2 days, I present Questions 4 and 5!

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Yes. Unfortunately, I am not very proactive.

5.What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

Human nature. I'd like everyone to think more about other people and less about just themselves. Honestly, if everyone in the world looked out for one other person a day, everything would be so much nicer.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

The answer to the first part is easy. Society. Basically, we're roped into the concept of life being go to school, graduate, go to school some more, graduate, fall in love, get married, have 2.5 kids and the white picket fence, and then work until we die, right? That's generally what most people do. It doesn't matter if we don't like our majors or jobs or that we accidentally had kids, we need to work to pay bills, not to find happiness. So we do things we don't like to live.

The liking things we don't do, I don't know. I actively participate in that though. I love knitting and sewing, but I don't do them because I'm busy doing things I don't like, ie: homework, cleaning, etc.

So my answer to both is, we do the things we don't like to make time for the things we do like, and we don't do the things we like because we're doing the things we don't like.

Try saying that 5 times fast.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Question 2

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?

I would like to say never trying. That sounds like a free your mind answer, right? But there are lots of things I will never ever try that I'm perfectly fine with not trying, like bungee jumping or being a rodeo clown or skydiving. Amirite?

So, I'm going to go with failing. Failing means that I tried, but my try wasn't successful. I put in time and effort and came up with squat. Failing is definitely worse.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Free Your Mind

and the rest will follow! I read some blog that used this to answer one question a day, so I shall take inspiration from her (but don't ask me what blog that was...)

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

  1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
I rarely like people my own age. I skipped the first grade, so I was always one of the youngest in my class, but I didn't like the underclassmen. And by underclassmen, I mean the class directly underneath mine, the one I left behind. I liked the class after them and the class after that. When I was a freshman, I hung out with the upperclassmen. I've always felt more comfortable with older people than people my age. It wasn't until I came to UNT that I made friends closer to my age.

I guess I have a tendency to act way older than I actually am. I like being motherly towards people younger than I am. I'm a prude, I don't understand drinking or how it's fun to drink until you pass out, I like HGTV, but at the same time, I like the Wiggles and Kevin Smith movies and Barbies and South Park. I like the color pink. I act younger than I am around people who are older than I. I curse like a sailor, and I don't have a job.

So, I would be an 8 year old girl, a 13 year old boy, or a 40 year old woman. :)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I've Decided...

That while I don't particularly like painting outside, it wasn't all that bad.

In beginning watercolor, we have to paint a landscape. But not just any landscape, an invented color landscape! Millie, the watercolor professor, looked at my collective work up until this point and custom made an assignment. On my slip of paper, it says:

"Good light value and line work. Very fresh paint. Now let's try: Dark value that moves throughout the picture plane, making for a well balanced composition; saturated, dark colors - intense orange, green; A painting that is mostly dark values. Different and more complicated, Essence."

She also gave us a postcard with an example of the colors we're supposed to use. I got:

Family at Work, 1988 by Jonathan Green

Boo. I am afraid of these colors, people.

But for now, I only had to worry about the location. I went to Lion Park to be inspired.

If we could have man-made items in this painting, I would totally paint that bridge. Alas, these must be uninterrupted landscapes. So, I started painting. We have to paint a thumbnail in local color (colors found in nature) first, so here's the photo and thumbnail:

On the computer right next to each other, my thumbnail looks like a child's drawing. They totally look the same though, right? Right. I was in the park from 11:00 AM - 2:10 PM. Then it got hot and I was hungry, but I took notes on what was going on because documentation is part of the assignment.

Date: March 18th, 2010
Time: 11:30 AM
Light: bright and blinding
Weather: sunny and hot, slight breeze
Location: I'm slightly off of a popular jogging trail.
Happenings: Random people jog past.
11:34 - PUPPY! It's a Jack Russell terrier. I want a puppy!
12:03 - Why did I pick this?!? I can't draw a tree, much less paint one!
12:10 - I just made awkward eye contact with a woman pushing a stroller...
12:12 - Okay, painting trees is so much easier than drawing them. I can just swish the brush around and it looks like a tree!
12:27 - Birdie!
12:34 - Leaves are easy too! I feel like Bob Ross!
12:42- A man just walked by with 3 boys under the age of 5. <3
12:47 - Birdie!
12:57 - It was looking okay, but I messed up. :( Typical.
1:01 - Maybe I should have started with the sky, then glazed the trees over it...
1:09 - That bird again. I think he has a nest behind the fallen tree.
1:23 - Okay, it looks like a third grader painted it. I guess I can go back and sgraffito (You take your Xacto knife and scrape the paint to let white paper show through) white back in...
1:33 - It's still ugly, but I'm hot so I don't care anymore. Plus, this guy has walked past me 3 times and he inconspicuously looks away from me as he walks by.

So, it's ugly so far. But the actual landscape will be pretty, I promise.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I ran into Ashley Serna today while I was getting my hair did. Serna is the girl who commented to this picture of Anthony and I,

Ignore my two chins. And Anthony's guy-liner. Emo.


"ohhh dangg:]
looks like a boy i would date!
get it Essencee<33 mmmm"

Today she greeted me with, "Hey, I heard you're dating a white boy!"

I do believe that I have an affinity for guys with blue eyes, but I am not dating Anthony for his whiteness. I don't even think about the fact that we are different races until other people point it out. Or sometimes when I look down while we're holding hands...

I just said, "Yes."

Then she asked, "Have you banged him yet?"

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

My current life in 90 questions

Buying that extra extra awesome jacket.
My daddy's truck.
Hmmm... next Sunday, significant otherwise.
Shoulder length.
I suppose so, but that's rather relative isn't it?
In theaters, Alice in Wonderland.
Anthony, Cassandra, Robert, and Lexie.
KFC grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, and a biscuit. :)
Iced coffee.
No one that doesn't live here. My sister's friend Erica is here now.
Not especially.
In my room.
Not anymore. :(
Disney World!
Hannah Montana.
My dad's oxygen tank humming.
One million dollars. Does that count?
Freshly mowed grass.
I will say Anthony right now, but only because the people in this house are annoying me. Bailey makes me pretty happy too.
My room.
September 6, 1990.
Last September-ish? I swam at College Inn with Kat, Tony, Justin, and Cassandra.
Yes, even though they're stupid.
I need to get it done!
Why is the same question on here twice? I swear the people who make these quizzes are so lazy.
80 mph.
English. But not writing. Just reading.
I'm not sure I have a type. Just blue-eyed.
I think my talents are hidden.
I don't have one, I like them all.
In my car.
No idea.
I have a younger sister.
Yes, but I am not a brat. That is my younger sister all the way.
I wanted to paint.
No, which I am very upset about.
HA. No.
I haven't yet, it's still early.
Zane Davis.
I have! I met the cast of Glee!
A lot.
Yes, I am also watching Maury and determining if these guys are the father or not.
I like old Brittany.
To the collision center so I could get the dent repaired.
Waxahachie, TX.
No, I am way too weak.
I don't pay it, so I don't know. I know we get unlimited text messages, and I rarely call people though.
This creeper on Maury.
Saturday night with Taylor and Bethaney.
A lot. Anywhere from 20-25.
Two, one per ear.
Absolutely nothing.
What page? I updated my blog yesterday, but I rarely update anything.
Yes. :)
Both. Disney World is better.
I like the PowerPuff Girls. And I miss Doug.
Chocolate chip pancakes.
I'm bad at it.
I sat on one, and broke it.
Last month.
Just this one.
A Honda Accord. I know, pretty lame.
That would be pretty much everyone I've ever wanted...
Back in Denton! Or in France. I don't care if they don't like Americans.
Yes. :)

Monday, March 15, 2010

Best Blog Ever.

I was looking at my old MySpace blogs, and I found the best blog ever. And every time I read it, I laugh a lot. And I wonder why Anthony is dating me. But I mostly laugh.

Dec. 27th 2008:

Anthony convinced Sam, Cassandra, Hanna, and I to stay in his room under the guise that he wanted to stay up all night. Let it be known that he was the first to fall asleep. Anyway, we watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and everyone but me fell asleep. And don't let them lie to you, they were asleep.

I was in their room later getting my DVDs to get ready to go home and I couldn't find HP anywhere, so I texted Anthony because he's dumb and he probably lost it.

Me: Where the hell is my movie?
Anthony: What movie?
Me: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. If you lost it, I will take your life.
Anthony: I never had it.
Me: It was in your room that one night we stayed up until 3 and I left it here and if you lost it, I will kill you.
Anthony: I didn't lose it. Look through the dvds on my desk, in the dvd case on the floor, or ask Sam. I had nothing to do with that.
Me: Do you like having a penis? Because I will remove yours if anything happened to my movie. The second one is my favorite!
Anthony:...I did nothing!
Me: Neither did Sam apparently. I will castrate you both if my movie is not found within one week of our return to school.
Anthony: ...okay...
Me: I am not kidding, Mr. Hufford. I do not mess around when it comes to Harry Potter. Prepare yourself.
Anthony: I am prepared.
Me: For a second, I almost missed you, but then I couldn't find my movie. I hate you.
Anthony: :( I didn't lose it.
Me: I will not stand for your kids. *That came up on predicted text instead of 'lies'. I left it to see what Anthony would say, but he didn't acknowledge it.*
Anthony: If it makes you feel any better, I forgot half m underwearr... *Of course, he types like this, so it probably didn't register.*
Me: Why would that make me feel better? Okay, I did laugh at you a little. Guess what?
Anthony: What?
Me: When we went to Victoria's Secret, we got sized for bras. Guess my bra size.
Anthony: 32c
Me: You're close! 38. It's almost scary...Is there something you'd like to tell me, sir? *So my actual bra size is 38D. I forgot. Julian remembered. In my defense, I've never bought a bra for myself.*
Anthony: Haha...erm...>.>
Me: It's a gift? I love you, Anthony. Even though you misplaced my most treasured HP DVD.
Anthony: I love you too *Note that he still did not take responsibility for losing my movie.*

So, I tore up his already torn up room trying to find my movie. I asked everybody,
"Okay, you're Anthony and you're dumb. What did you do with my Harry Potter movie?"
Julian: "Well, if I were Anthony, I'd lose it, then say I didn't. Oh wait, he already did that!"
I laughed but I still never found it.

Julian called me later and said he found it in his underwear drawer. Which is why I hate Anthony. The End.

Hee. ^_^

Saturday, March 13, 2010

A letter to LC

Dear Lauren Conrad,

I feel like I owe you an apology. See, when you appeared on the reality show Laguna Beach, I thought you were an annoying spoiled teenager who stole people's boyfriends, so I didn't hold much hope when you moved to your own reality show. I thought you just got the job at Teen Vogue because you were already quasi-famous, and that you were just trying to hold on to your 15 minutes of fame. Since the first line you designed was priced in the hundreds of dollars, I assumed that you were just full of yourself (and I looked at this line, and it was not worth it.)

But after viewing your new, lower and still over-priced line LC at Kohl's, I retract my assumption that you aren't a talented designer. I absolutely fell in love with your pieces. They're gorgeous, and I found the most perfect motorcycle jacket EVER. I've been looking for one since last September, and yours is beautiful and in my size. So I bought it. True, it was marked down from $72 to $49.99, and true, I got another 30% discount by having my employee friend purchase it for me, but I love my new jacket. And unlike most celebrities I do not like supporting by purchasing their merchandise, I truly hope you enjoy the 30 something dollars you made from this sale.

However, after watching your show, my accusations of you being a whiny crybaby still stand.

Essence B.

My new jacket. I know it was just starting to feel nice outside, but I want the weather to get colder just so I can wear it.

I also want this dress.

Monday, March 8, 2010


I always tell myself that I will get things done on time,
that I'll break my work into smaller pieces, and slowly get it done instead
of waiting until the absolute last second to do it.
I remind myself of how much I hate staying up to finish things.
I promise that I'll be better, that
I'll keep a planner, and finish early.
I know I could get higher grades
if I just started on time, but
I am a procrastinator!
Hear me roar!!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

To Do: 3/3/10

To Do:

1) Stupid TWU project that I've been putting off for 3 weeks now. I really don't want to go to TWU.

2) Gouache painting! Since it's not due until next Tuesday, I can just put down the resist tonight. I long to procrastinate on this too though.

3) Stupid biology project. I loathe group projects with every fiber of my being. Not only did my group members completely ignore my suggestions for what malady we should cover, (I wanted anemia, they picked cervical cancer. We're all girls and we have to talk about our collective cervices in a power point. Lovely.) but they made me group leader and failed to come up with any time that we could meet.

4) Return library books. Possibly get more...

5) Clean my side of the room. I also don't want to do this. Oh, Procrastination, you foul mistress...

I feel like there's more, but I'm not sure what I'm forgetting. The rest of y'all have a wonderful day. Go soak up the sunshine!
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