Tuesday, April 6, 2010


I'm a Christian, just in case you didn't know. I was raised in the Church of Christ, but I started attending a Messianic church in November. I wasn't moving churches or looking for a new "religion" or anything, I just went with a friend because I was interested and I kept going because the people at Heritage Fellowship Church are the most amazing people ever.

Anyway, Heritage is different from the Church of Christ in Hutchins where I previously attended with my parents and different from the Denton Church of Christ that I attended my freshman year. We do typically Jewish things, but it's for Jesus our Messiah, which makes Heritage a Christian church.

All I did was ask my mother to go to a Passover Seder. She does not like that I attend Heritage (I knew she wouldn't like it, so I told her that I only go to a Wednesday night Torah study and she still pitches a fit every time I mention Heritage.) She thinks that I'm being "converted" or brainwashed or something. I was like, "But Jesus went to Passover! That's where He conducted the Last Supper. In fact, that's where He did the body as bread and blood as wine thing (communion, but I get very flustered when I'm trying to defend myself.)" Then my sister jumped in with, "Yeah, where He created His new church!" (my sister is just a mini-me of my parents. She just regurgitates everything they tell her. I absolutely cannot wait for her to leave them and get a brain of her own, but that's another blog entirely.)

Anyway, I gave up trying to defend Heritage because I get flustered and I really don't know that much about Heritage. My mother said one last thing to me before moving on to making fun of me for something else, "Remember that you're a Christian."

I am not a Jew by blood or by faith. I'm not even 100% sure that I'm Messianic, but I know that I am a Christian. Do not question my faith in Jesus. The truth is, I hate the Church of Christ. Yeah. I hate that whole, "We're the church that Christ created and if you don't believe what we believe, you'll go to hell and we'll wave to you from our mansions" bullshit. That is only pushing people away from God. Jesus came here to include us all, not exclude some people because they don't bear the title you want them to have. I hate the condemning attitude that the Church of Christ has. I hate the stupid rules that I'm pretty sure they made up, like girls not being able to wear a certain type of swimsuit to a youth outing to Hurricane Harbor (yeah, it happened) because of "modesty" while pretty much everyone I was in the youth group with has a baby now. I hate that when I come home from the Church of Christ with my family, all they can do is make fun of the minister and not talk about what we went to church for, the word of God.

I may not know my "religion," but I know that in the Church of Christ in Hutchins and in Denton, I was spiritually stagnant. I love Heritage Fellowship so much because I can tell that everyone I come into contact with believes in God and Jesus wholeheartedly. Sure, they have problems, every church does, but they are believers. I feel so much closer to God, and I want to keep that feeling that you are interfering with.

Do not act like I'm betraying the Lord by finding Him elsewhere when I'm really offending you. Do not tell me that I can't possibly feel the spirit of the Lord because I don't have the label that you gave to me. And do not say that the way I choose to worship Him is Jewish. Jesus celebrated Passover, and I bet He liked it.

I digress, but not much. Another topic my family and I get into fights over is homosexuality. None of us condone it, but that's where we diverge.

I suppose this started last year when I started hanging out with Julian. They made fun of him all the time, but at the same time, they seemed to think he would just decide that he liked girls and would rape me. I don't know. Anyway, I was like, "He's gay. He doesn't like girls." and my mom would be like, "So? I have a cousin who's gay and he has three kids." Then I was like, "That doesn't mean anything. That was in like the 70's where you couldn't admit you were gay because people would think you had AIDS so you had to get married and keep it on the down low. It's okay to be openly gay now." and then she'd keep talking.

And the last time I was home during spring break, my father used the term "fagot" to describe that guy from America's Next Top Model.

Which he probably very well is, but I was so angry. I was like, "Do not ever call anyone that."
"Well, that's what he is."
"Daddy, do you realize that's the equivalent of someone calling you a nigger because you're black? You are a Christian."
"God is against homosexuality."
"That may be, but that is rude and uncalled for."

Don't get me wrong, I love my father. He is actually a very wonderful person, he's on the school board and he was my Girl Scout troop leader. He works the night shift so that he can be at home to pick us up from school or come to school plays. And he obviously isn't openly intolerant or I wouldn't have been as shocked and disgusted as I was.

God may not like homosexuality, but I believe that that is between that person and God when they meet at the pearly gates. As a Christian, it is not my place to judge anyone for what they choose to do, it is my job to be fair and nice to everyone equally. "Love your neighbor as yourself" is a commandment and calling people names is not love.

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