Tuesday, July 6, 2010

(Un)Welcome House Guest

My niece Teyanna is staying with us for two weeks.

I feel like this requires explaining...

Backstory: The easiest way to say this is that my dad has two sets of kids. He married his high school sweetheart, had two kids; my half-brother and sister, Kim and Walter Jr., then met my mom when Walter Jr. graduated high school, and started over with me and my sister, Brooklyn. Got that? Well, Kim was already married and had 3 kids (my nephew, Louis and my nieces, Kimmie and Brittany) and my brother got a girl pregnant and had my niece, Teyanna, exactly 9 months after I was born. Confused? You should be. At any rate, I have at least 2 nephews and 4 nieces, but I'm not sure exactly how many children my brother has...

The point is: Teyanna's really close to me. We grew up together, at least when she lived in Ennis because she moved a lot when she was younger, and she's like the little sister I never had.

I say "little sister I never had" because while I have Brooklyn, she was never the conventional little sister. We fight a lot and she annoys me, but she mostly stays out of my way. Teyanna, on the other hand, borrows my stuff. Without asking. She invites herself to parties and get togethers and other things I do with my friends. Once when I was in the 6th grade, she told my parents the name of the guy I liked because they paid her $5 (Mark Freeman. He was cute. Not so much anymore.) I love her, but she's kind of obnoxious sometimes. She constantly interrupts with random stories even if you're seriously trying to have a conversation with her, and I swear she only has one volume: LOUD.

My dad feels really guilty about his son abandoning her, so she's got my dad wrapped around her little finger. The finger that is supposed to be mine and mine alone (I'm a total Daddy's girl, if you were wondering.) It's not that I'm jealous so much as annoyed. She knows that my dad feels guilty and she takes advantage of him and asks for money and expensive things that they barely buy me. Like she has a problem keeping up with cell phones and mP3 players. My dad has bought her three cell phones, and at one point, he also paid her bill (yes, he pays mine too, but he complains about mine.) She broke the first iPod her bought her by dropping it in the toilet (I don't know either,) and lost the warranty so we really couldn't do anything about it. Then her grandmother on her mom's side bought her a Zune that she also broke. She called my dad and asked for another iPod. o_0

That's part of it too. She has a whole other side of her family. They tell her to ask my dad if they can't afford something or if she needs money or something. Like he's not paying $12,000+ for my college tuition or paying off my sister's clarinet and preparing to send her to college too. I just don't like him being treated like some kind of ATM.

And I guess to be perfectly honest, I do it too. I know that if I ever need something or if I'm in trouble I can just call my daddy. I realize that I'm totally spoiled and Teyanna doesn't have that luxury. I should be more sympathetic, but I just hate seeing the man who would do practically anything for anyone being shaken down for cash and prizes.

Anyway, pray that I don't murder her. My mom says that guests can't sleep on the floor so we have to share a bed. Fun fact about me: I hate sleeping with other people. I have the unique ability to fall asleep practically anywhere, but I'm also a fairly light sleeper. I hate being around other people when they are sleeping. I can hear them breathing. And snoring. And I don't like seeing people in such a vulnerable place. I especially hate sharing beds. I hate being touched. I like spooning, but I don't imagine that I would like to sleep that way. I like my space. But most people don't stay perfectly on their side, so eventually I will be touched and it will be a weird graze of a hand or a foot in an inappropriate spot and I will wake up and stay awake for an hour or so because I will be freaked out about being touched. So I'm sleeping on the floor. Even though Teyanna is an invader in my personal, private space, I would rather be on my hard floor.

So there's that.

Only I'll be awake and look grumpier. And black.

On an unrelated note, my dad said I couldn't be a lawyer. Actually, everyone in my family said that, but I want everyone to know that I could totally be a lawyer if I felt like it.


  1. I like sleeping on the floor. :)

    But! Why is she staying with y'all?

  2. I don't like sleeping on the floor. If God wanted us to sleep on the floor, he wouldn't have invented mattresses.

    And her mom is going to some conference or convention thing. So she's staying with us.

  3. i totally know how you feel about your personal space.
    & i also know how the confusing family dynamics go...

    good luck!

  4. oh, and LOL at "And black." in the caption...
    funny. funny. funny.


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