Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Sex Education

Today, Tyra actually had a show that made me think. And about something other than Tyra, imagine that!

I know, I was just as surprised.

It was about when you should start educating your children about sex. As in, what age. Anyway, this one guest was driving her 5 year old daughter home after a sleepover at some other 5 year old's house, and her daughter told her that what's-her-face asked her to "kiss her cat." Naturally, the mom was super confused.
"Well, what did you tell her?"
"I said no, then she pulled up her pants and panties."

And now I have made the executive decision to never have children. I can't protect them child molesters, fires, Megan Fox, tornadoes, kidnappers, earthquakes, Disney, hurricanes, Google, volcanoes, thieves, tsunamis, wild animals, and their sex crazed peers. Too much. Too too much. Can't do it.

Thinking back, my mom never really really explained what sex was. I had an advanced reading level, and I blossomed early, so she gave me a book about periods and "becoming a woman." Well, I totally got the whole menstruation part, I just didn't get why. So I broke out the encyclopedia.

Sidenote: It's a super horrible idea to learn about sex from an encyclopedia. Especially if you're 9.

I think that might be the major contributer to my prudish nature. I spent the past 10 years being completely afraid of sex. I'm a little more open to it now (That's what she said.) but I don't like watching movies with awkward sex scenes, I don't like random guys checking me out or asking for my phone number, I don't like sexual innuendos (despite my love of 'That's what she said' jokes. Maybe not the sexual innuendos so much.) I don't like it when people are naked and whenever anyone tries to talk to me about sex, I start feeling uncomfortable and stabby, in that order. At any rate, I am less freaked out by sex since I want children and the other methods for getting children involve money and/or showing strangers my vagina. (Or was and wanted, since Tyra convinced me having kids is a bad idea.)

Hmm, I'm not sure where I was going with this so I'll just make this statement and be off: Kids today are freaks.

1 comment:

  1. I am most concerned about Megan Fox and Google. And maybe Disney.


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