Wednesday, March 31, 2010


I generally don't like women (excluding girls under the age of 8 and Southern Baptist moms). I feel like most women fall into the stereotypical "woman" format, you know, catty and jealous. She talks about you behind your back and plans to steal your man and all that jazz. Like along with the XX gene, "women" get the bitchy, narcissistic trait that makes them "women." Cassandra is one of the few women that I don't dislike just because she has a vagina. She likes sports and is very quiet and amicable. In fact, we both hate "women," and that's part of the reason we're so compatible. I absolutely love Cassandra.

That being said, I want to cunt punt that skank.

She's been acting like a complete cow ever since I started dating Anthony. Before I was dating Anthony, she would occasionally be angry with him because she felt like he was ignoring her or treating her like she was stupid, but we were all friends. She and Anthony took technical writing together and they'd do homework and be completely fine with each other. Now she's flat out being a bitch if Anthony is even in the same room with her. I get that sometimes Anthony is annoying. He annoys me sometimes, and I'm his girlfriend (Love you!) but the way she's acting, you'd think he was stealing her credit card information and poking her repeatedly with a stick while spitting on her grandmother. Last night at Passover, Anthony tried to fix her dress and she growled, "Don't touch me."

Cassandra didn't even sleep in our room last night. After Passover, she just stomped upstairs, and I went to Anthony's room because no one wants to hang out with a cow. I got back around 1 AM, and Cassandra just never showed up, not even at 8 AM when I got up to get ready for class. So I guess she's now including me in her anger towards Anthony. If her anger is some sort of negative reaction to us "ignoring" her, she's gonna need to stop PMSing before I pay her any attention. Using the silent treatment has no affect on me whatsoever. I just ignore you back and feel justified. So naturally, I feel totally vindicated in my assumption that she's being an irrational woman, and I refuse to ask her what's wrong. As far as I'm concerned, she can stomp around from now until we move into our apartment and after that, I am going to enjoy time with Anthony and find people to hang out with who aren't women.

In retrospect, this is probably God paying me back for how I acted about Robert last semester. I would explain the whole Robert situation, but there simply isn't enough time. For a shortened version, it involves a lot of he-said-she-said, anger, bitchiness on my part, and the silent treatment, like if the current roles were reversed, I would have been bitchy Cassandra.

What makes this funny, Robert once said, "Cassandra's not a bitch," during one of our conversations about why I don't like "women."

Dear Robert,
I'm totally right. Just because she's not a bitch to you, doesn't mean she doesn't have the capability of being a bitch. It's genetics, nucca!
Love, Essence

P.S. - She's a bitch to you too, actually. She's just a lot quieter, and she gets over it faster. But so you know, you piss her off too.

1 comment:

  1. "'d think he was stealing her credit card information and poking her repeatedly with a stick while spitting on her grandmother." << This is why you're my girlfriend. Who else comes up with a phrase like that? ^_^


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