Saturday, June 19, 2010

To My Dearest, Darlingest Momsy and Popsicle

I don't smoke. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I don't sleep around. I made straight As in high school, and I'm making Bs in college. I don't party. I've been "clubbing" twice, and that's with quotes because it was a gay club, and all I did was dance. I've volunteered at the library and the nursing home. This and last summer are the only ones where I haven't had a job (which I attribute to the falling economy.) And I went to church 3 times a week in Denton.

I have gone above and beyond to be the perfect child. So could I PLEASE LEAVE THIS HOUSE?

I do not care if you think me staying with Anthony is "inappropriate." I have spent the last 19 years being appropriate and it's gotten me absolutely nothing. How many times do I have to tell you that I don't believe in pre-marital sex? We are not sleeping together. And we won't. And stop patronzing me with that, "You don't know, things happen," bullshit. You were essentially nonexistent for the first four months of our relationship, and I didn't have sex. You won't be around when we're back together in Denton at 7 months, and I will still be a virgin. Your refusal to believe that I'm not some crazy slut when you're not around almost makes me want to be whore.

Why can't you see that I am literally dying here? You may be fine sitting around on the computer and watching TV all day, but I hate it. I am so bored. It's not my fault that no one will hire me.* Stop implying that I'm lazy or not trying hard enough. Other people aren't quitting their jobs, and consequently, no one's looking for more workers.

Honestly, if you would just fix my car a lot of problems would be solved. I have no friends in Ennis, I have friends in Denton. I want to go there. I NEED to go there. I don't care if it's $100. $100 should be worth me not crying myself to sleep at 11 AM.

That's right. AM. I am officially trying to sleep the boredom away. It works until 2 AM when I can't sleep anymore. There is absolutely nothing to do in this town. And I need my car to drive to places where things exist. I would fix it myself, despite the fact that my car might be totaled. I NEED TO LEAVE.

Lastly, stop saying, "When you're grown and have a job, you can do whatever you want." I know for a fact that that's not how adulthood works. I'm not expect to do whatever I want now. I just need to do SOMETHING, but you're not letting me because you aren't comfortable with the fact that I'm not 12 anymore. What you're really saying, "When you no longer live in our facist dictatorship, you can do whatever you want." AND I WILL. As soon as I'm on my own, I am doing everything I ever wanted and never, ever coming back here because you suck.

Love,
Essence


*I've officially decided to start applying to fast food places, despite the fact that I loathe to the very core of my being working with food. THAT'S HOW DESPERATE I AM TO LEAVE.

1 comment:

  1. i) You're my favorite, and I wish you were staying in Denton for the summer.

    ii) I've decided I like using lower case Roman numerals for bullets.

    iii) I just wanted a third bullet.

    ReplyDelete

 
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